Snowboarding and Skiing

Feb 16, 2018 20:19
I've been a snow mountain since yesterday due to my work.

Yesterday, I tried to do snowboarding.

Since I had little experience about snowboarding, I tipped over many times, but finally I somehow managed to be able to turn continuously.

Unfortunately, I felt a severe muscle pain, I thought that I couldn't do snowboarding today.

Instead, I skied because I thought that skiing is less influence to the body.

It was my first skiing in about 18 years, but I remembered how to ski somewhat, so it was fun.

I also fun very nice hot springs.

I will ski again tomorrow.
スノーボードとスキー

仕事の関係で、昨日から雪山に来ています。

昨日はスノーボードをすべりました。

ほとんど経験が無かったので、何度も転びましたが、最終的にはなんとか連続でターンができるようになりました。

しかし今日は筋肉痛で、まともに滑れそうにありませんでした。

その代わりに、体への負担が少ないと思われるスキーを滑りました。

約18年ぶりのスキーでしたが、ある程度滑り方を覚えていたようで、楽しく滑ることができました。
No. 1 Mario 魏汉杰's correction
  • Snowboarding and Skiing
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
  • I've been a snow mountain since yesterday due to my work.
  • I've been at a snowy mountain since yesterday due to my job.
  • Yesterday, I tried to do snowboarding.
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
  • Since I had little experience about snowboarding, I tipped over many times, but finally I somehow managed to be able to turn continuously.
  • Since I had little experience with snowboarding, I tripped over many times, but finally I somehow managed to be able to turn without much difficulty.
  • Unfortunately, I felt a severe muscle pain, I thought that I couldn't do snowboarding today.
  • Unfortunately, I felt a severe muscle pain, I thought that I couldn't do snowboarding today.
  • Instead, I skied because I thought that skiing is less influence to the body.
  • Instead, I skied because I thought that skiing is less strain on the body.
  • It was my first skiing in about 18 years, but I remembered how to ski somewhat, so it was fun.
  • It was my first time skiing in about 18 years, but I somehow remembered how to ski somewhat, so it was fun.
  • I also fun very nice hot springs.
  • I also found very nice hot springs.
  • I will ski again tomorrow.
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
Toru
Thank you so much for the corrections! (^^)
No. 2 Russell's correction
  • Snowboarding and Skiing
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
  • I've been a snow mountain since yesterday due to my work.
  • I've been at a snow mountain ski resort since yesterday due to my work.
     Be sure to remember the preposition when you are saying where you are. In this example, without "at" you are saying you are a mountain. :)
  • Yesterday, I tried to do snowboarding.
  • Yesterday, I tried to do snowboarding.
     In this sentence snowboarding is a noun so there is no need to add "to do."

    Based on the rest of your essay a way that may sound better would be: "I tried to snowboard".

    When you say "I tried to snowboard" there is a slight connotation that it didn't go well, or that something bad may have happened. Other examples: I tried to eat the pizza. (But it was too hot and I burned my mouth). I tried to take the bus. (but I was too late and I missed it)

    "I tried snowboarding" is neutral. It could have gone well, or it could have gone badly.
    Example: I tried snowboarding and I loved it! I tried running but it was boring
  • Since I had little experience about snowboarding, I tipped over many times, but finally I somehow managed to be able to turn continuously.
  • Since I had little experience about snowboarding, I tipped over many times fell a lot, but finally I somehow managed to be able to turn continuously.
     Because you are talking about your experience you don't need 'about'. (If you were talking about your knowledge of snowboarding you would: "I don't know anything about snowboarding)

    'I tipped over many times' is correct; however, 'I fell a lot' is much more common and natural in this context.

    There is no need to add 'to be able' here. The verb 'managed' in this context includes that idea with it. I managed to turn = (It was difficult but) I was able to turn
  • Unfortunately, I felt a severe muscle pain, I thought that I couldn't do snowboarding today.
  • Unfortunately, I felt a severe muscle pain. I thought that I couldn't do wouldn't be able to snowboarding today.
     This should be separated into two sentences. The first sentence is correct as is. But I don't know if it is what you mean. "I felt a severe muscle pain" means that there was a specific muscle or part of a muscle that had an injury that hurt a lot. That may be exactly what happened, but based on my own snowboarding experience I think it is more accurate to say, "I was very sore." To be sore, or to have sore muscles is usually how you feel after exercising very hard. You get sore all over, or all over the muscles that you used in the exercise you were doing.

    The second sentence is understandable and native English speakers would be able figure out what you meant, but it has a conditional clause so I made some adjustments to help you.
    "I thought that I couldn't..." means that you thought that you were not allowed to do something. If there was a law that said you couldn't snowboard 2 days in a row. Of if your mother told you that you had to stay home. Because a temporary condition was going to stop you, "I thought that I wouldn't..." is the correct phrase. You could've still gone snowboarding if you really wanted to even if you were sore, or you may not have been sore today at all.
  • Instead, I skied because I thought that skiing is less influence to the body.
  • Instead, I skied because I thought that skiing is less influence to was easier on the body.
     "Easy" and "hard" are used to talk about the amount of damage or difficulty an activity (or person) causes to an object (or person). Skiing is hard on the body. Swimming is easy on the body. My boss is hard on me (he makes things difficult for me). My mom went easy on my brother (she didn't punish him very much). He is hard on his car (he doesn't take care of it)
  • It was my first skiing in about 18 years, but I remembered how to ski somewhat, so it was fun.
  • It was my first time skiing in about 18 years, but I sort of remembered how to ski somewhat, so it was fun.
     The adjective "first" in this sentence requires a countable noun to modify, so you need to add the noun 'time'.

    The word somewhat is correct, but in this sentence it doesn't sound very natural. The phrases "sort of" and "kind of" are used all the time in situations where you know something about the subject, but you are not an expert or don't know many details. I sort of know how to type. I can kind of speak Russian. I sort of know what you're talking about. (in speech they get joined together and sound like sorta and kinda so they are sometimes written that was as well)
  • I also fun very nice hot springs.
  • I also had fun at a very nice hot springs.
     I'm not sure what you meant here so I guessed. The word fun always requires a verb (to have fun, to be fun, to look fun). And, like in the first sentence you need the preposition to clarify your meaning.

    (Here you need the article "a" as well. In most cases if you are "at" some place you need to include either "a" or "the". There are some very important exceptions to that rule: I am a home. He is at school. You are at work. They are at church. We are at Steven's apartment, They are at my brother's house. (This issues gets a little more complex, but 95% of the time you don't need "at" with: home, school, work, church, or any place that belongs to a specific person)
  • I will ski again tomorrow.
  • I will I'm going to ski again tomorrow.
     There are 3 options here that all mean the same thing, but they each have a different connotation.

    "I will" - This sounds very formal, or very determined. "I will ski tomorrow, and no one will stop me"! or "As indicated in article 2 of the court record, I will ski tomorrow."

    "I'll" This is better, it's more natural, but it can also sound dismissive. "I'll ski tomorrow, I don't want to today." or "I'll ski, but I'd rather have a different option"

    "I'm going to" (or "I'm gonna" in spoken english) - This is the best option in this context. It's the announcement of your plan to ski that is the most neutral (not too formal, not too dismissive). I'm going to ski again tomorrow because I don't fall down as much when I ski." "I'm going to ski tomorrow because I had fun today."
Good job! This was a nice essay. It was very easy to understand and I enjoyed it because I like to ski and snowboard. You have a solid understanding of the basics and you were able to express yourself well. I mostly made corrections to help you sound more natural. Be sure to remember the preposition "at." It can make a big difference, especially if there isn't much context around what you are saying or writing. I tried to provide helpful examples to show you why I made the corrections I did. If you have any questions about what I wrote, please send me a message.

Keep up the great work and have a great time skiing!
Toru
Thank you very much for your helpful corrections and comments!
I understand well. And I learned lots of new things.

> This should be separated into two sentences. The first sentence is correct as is. But I don't know if it is what you mean.

I think that the word "sore" you suggested is appropriate. Also, I forgot to add a conjunction like "so" or "since." I wanted to say something like "Since I had sore muscles, I thought that I wouldn't be able to snowboard."

> I'm not sure what you meant here so I guessed. The word fun always requires a verb (to have fun, to be fun, to look fun).
Sorry, my sentence, "I also fun," was terrible. I wanted to say something like "I also enjoyed a very nice hot springs." I think that the meaning of this is similar to the one of your correction.
I don't know whether or not I should add "at" in this case, like "I enjoyed at a hot springs," but I enjoyed the hot springs itself, so maybe "I enjoyed a hot springs" is more appropriate.

Thank you again!
Russell
I'm glad I could help. :)

Your sentence "Since I had sore muscles, I thought that I wouldn't be able to snowboard." is great! And you're correct on the sentence with the hot springs. Since you enjoyed the hot springs itself, you don't need "at." You're doing awesome!
Toru
Thank you for the comment!
I understand well. And I'm glad to hear you say that (^^)
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